Preface |
|
xi | |
|
Chapter One A First Look at Interpersonal Relationships |
|
|
2 | (42) |
|
|
5 | (5) |
|
|
6 | (1) |
|
|
7 | (1) |
|
|
8 | (1) |
|
|
8 | (2) |
|
The Process of Communication |
|
|
10 | (6) |
|
|
10 | (1) |
|
|
11 | (5) |
|
Communication Principles and Misconceptions |
|
|
16 | (3) |
|
|
16 | (2) |
|
Communication Misconceptions |
|
|
18 | (1) |
|
The Nature of Interpersonal Communication |
|
|
19 | (8) |
|
Two Views of Interpersonal Communication |
|
|
19 | (2) |
|
Technology and Interpersonal Communication |
|
|
21 | (3) |
|
Personal and Impersonal Communication: A Matter of Balance |
|
|
24 | (3) |
|
Communicating about Relationships |
|
|
27 | (5) |
|
Content and Relational Messages |
|
|
27 | (1) |
|
Types of Relational Messages |
|
|
28 | (2) |
|
|
30 | (2) |
|
What Makes an Effective Communicator? |
|
|
32 | (8) |
|
Communication Competence Defined |
|
|
32 | (2) |
|
Characteristics of Competent Communicators |
|
|
34 | (6) |
|
|
40 | (1) |
|
|
41 | (1) |
|
|
41 | (3) |
|
|
|
Chapter Two Communication and Identity: The Self and Messages |
|
|
44 | (46) |
|
Communication and the Self-Concept |
|
|
46 | (25) |
|
Biological and Social Roots of the Self |
|
|
48 | (9) |
|
Characteristics of the Self-Concept |
|
|
57 | (4) |
|
|
61 | (3) |
|
The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and Communication |
|
|
64 | (3) |
|
Changing Your Self-Concept |
|
|
67 | (4) |
|
Presenting the Self: Communiction as Identity Management |
|
|
71 | (14) |
|
Public and Private Selves |
|
|
71 | (2) |
|
Characteristics of Identity Management |
|
|
73 | (5) |
|
|
78 | (4) |
|
How Do We Manage Identities? |
|
|
82 | (3) |
|
Identity Management and Honesty |
|
|
85 | (1) |
|
|
86 | (1) |
|
|
86 | (1) |
|
|
87 | (3) |
|
Chapter Three Perception: What You See Is What You Get |
|
|
90 | (40) |
|
|
93 | (8) |
|
|
93 | (1) |
|
|
94 | (5) |
|
|
99 | (1) |
|
|
100 | (1) |
|
|
101 | (11) |
|
|
101 | (3) |
|
|
104 | (4) |
|
|
108 | (4) |
|
|
112 | (1) |
|
Common Tendencies in Perception |
|
|
112 | (3) |
|
We Judge Ourselves More Charitably than Others |
|
|
112 | (1) |
|
We Pay More Attention to Others' Negative Characteristics |
|
|
113 | (1) |
|
We Are Influenced by the Obvious |
|
|
113 | (1) |
|
We Cling to First Impressions |
|
|
114 | (1) |
|
We Assume that Others Are Similar to Us |
|
|
114 | (1) |
|
|
115 | (3) |
|
Elements of Perception Checking |
|
|
115 | (1) |
|
Perception Checking Considerations |
|
|
116 | (2) |
|
Empathy and Communication |
|
|
118 | (8) |
|
|
118 | (2) |
|
The Pillow Method: A Tool for Building Empathy |
|
|
120 | (6) |
|
|
126 | (1) |
|
|
126 | (1) |
|
|
127 | (3) |
|
Chapter Four Emotions: Thinking, Feeling, and Communicating |
|
|
130 | (36) |
|
|
132 | (3) |
|
|
132 | (1) |
|
|
133 | (1) |
|
Cognitive Interpretations |
|
|
133 | (1) |
|
|
134 | (1) |
|
|
135 | (2) |
|
Primary and Mixed Emotions |
|
|
135 | (1) |
|
Intense and Mild Emotions |
|
|
136 | (1) |
|
Influences on Emotional Expression |
|
|
137 | (7) |
|
|
137 | (2) |
|
|
139 | (1) |
|
|
140 | (2) |
|
|
142 | (1) |
|
|
143 | (1) |
|
|
143 | (1) |
|
Guidelines for Expressing Emotions |
|
|
144 | (6) |
|
|
145 | (1) |
|
Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary |
|
|
145 | (2) |
|
|
147 | (1) |
|
Recognize the Difference between Feeling, Talking, and Acting |
|
|
147 | (1) |
|
Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings |
|
|
148 | (1) |
|
Consider When and Where to Express your Feelings |
|
|
148 | (2) |
|
Managing Difficult Emotions |
|
|
150 | (13) |
|
Facilitative and Debilitative Emotions |
|
|
150 | (1) |
|
Sources of Debilitative Emotions |
|
|
151 | (2) |
|
Irrational Thinking and Debilitative Emotions |
|
|
153 | (5) |
|
Minimizing Debilitative Emotions |
|
|
158 | (5) |
|
|
163 | (1) |
|
|
163 | (1) |
|
|
163 | (3) |
|
|
|
Chapter Five Language: Barrier and Bridge |
|
|
166 | (42) |
|
|
169 | (1) |
|
Understandings and Misunderstandings |
|
|
170 | (10) |
|
Understanding Words: Semantic Rules |
|
|
170 | (6) |
|
Understanding Structure: Syntactic Rules |
|
|
176 | (1) |
|
Understanding Structure: Pragmatic Rules |
|
|
177 | (3) |
|
|
180 | (12) |
|
|
180 | (2) |
|
Affiliation, Attraction, and Interest |
|
|
182 | (1) |
|
|
183 | (1) |
|
|
184 | (3) |
|
The Language of Responsibility |
|
|
187 | (5) |
|
|
192 | (6) |
|
|
192 | (1) |
|
Reasons for Communicating |
|
|
193 | (2) |
|
|
195 | (1) |
|
|
196 | (2) |
|
|
198 | (5) |
|
Verbal Communication Styles |
|
|
198 | (3) |
|
|
201 | (2) |
|
|
203 | (1) |
|
|
204 | (1) |
|
|
205 | (3) |
|
Chapter Six Nonverbal Communication: Messages beyond Words |
|
|
208 | (38) |
|
Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication |
|
|
211 | (11) |
|
Nonverbal Skills Are Important |
|
|
212 | (1) |
|
All Behavior Has Communicative Value |
|
|
212 | (1) |
|
Nonverbal Communication is Primarily Relational |
|
|
212 | (3) |
|
Nonverbal Communication Serves Many Functions |
|
|
215 | (4) |
|
Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous |
|
|
219 | (3) |
|
Influences on Nonverbal Communication |
|
|
222 | (4) |
|
|
222 | (1) |
|
|
223 | (3) |
|
Types of Nonverbal Communication |
|
|
226 | (16) |
|
|
226 | (1) |
|
|
227 | (2) |
|
|
229 | (1) |
|
|
230 | (2) |
|
|
232 | (2) |
|
|
234 | (2) |
|
|
236 | (1) |
|
|
237 | (1) |
|
|
238 | (2) |
|
|
240 | (1) |
|
|
240 | (2) |
|
|
242 | (1) |
|
|
242 | (1) |
|
|
243 | (1) |
|
|
243 | (3) |
|
Chapter Seven Listening: More than Meets the Ear |
|
|
246 | (36) |
|
Elements in the Listening Process |
|
|
249 | (4) |
|
|
249 | (2) |
|
|
251 | (1) |
|
|
251 | (1) |
|
|
252 | (1) |
|
|
252 | (1) |
|
The Challenge of Listening |
|
|
253 | (10) |
|
Types of Ineffective Listening |
|
|
253 | (1) |
|
Why We Don't Listen Better |
|
|
254 | (5) |
|
Meeting the Challenge of Listening Better |
|
|
259 | (4) |
|
Types of Listening Responses |
|
|
263 | (17) |
|
|
263 | (1) |
|
|
264 | (1) |
|
|
265 | (5) |
|
|
270 | (3) |
|
|
273 | (2) |
|
|
275 | (1) |
|
|
275 | (3) |
|
Choosing the Best Listening Response |
|
|
278 | (2) |
|
|
280 | (1) |
|
|
281 | (1) |
|
|
281 | (1) |
|
PART III LOOKING AT RELATIONAL DYNAMICS |
|
|
|
Chapter Eight Communication and Relational Dynamics |
|
|
282 | (48) |
|
Why We Form Relationships |
|
|
284 | (8) |
|
|
284 | (3) |
|
|
287 | (5) |
|
|
292 | (1) |
|
Models of Relational Development and Maintenance |
|
|
292 | (13) |
|
|
293 | (7) |
|
|
300 | (4) |
|
Characteristics of Relational Development and Maintenance |
|
|
304 | (1) |
|
Self-Disclosure in Relationships |
|
|
305 | (11) |
|
Degrees of Self-Disclosure |
|
|
307 | (3) |
|
A Model of Self-Disclosure |
|
|
310 | (1) |
|
Reasons for Self-Disclosure |
|
|
311 | (2) |
|
Guidelines for Self-Disclosure |
|
|
313 | (3) |
|
Alternatives to Self-Disclosure |
|
|
316 | (9) |
|
|
317 | (4) |
|
|
321 | (2) |
|
|
323 | (1) |
|
|
323 | (2) |
|
|
325 | (1) |
|
|
326 | (1) |
|
|
326 | (4) |
|
Chapter Nine Improving Communication Climates |
|
|
330 | (40) |
|
Communication Climate: The Key to Positive Relationships |
|
|
332 | (7) |
|
Confirming and Disconfirming Communication |
|
|
333 | (4) |
|
How Communication Climates Develop |
|
|
337 | (2) |
|
Defensiveness: Causes and Remedies |
|
|
339 | (18) |
|
Types of Defensive Reactions |
|
|
340 | (2) |
|
Preventing Defensiveness in Others |
|
|
342 | (8) |
|
Saving Face: The Clear Message Format |
|
|
350 | (1) |
|
|
350 | (1) |
|
|
350 | (3) |
|
|
353 | (1) |
|
|
354 | (1) |
|
|
355 | (1) |
|
Using the Clear Message Format |
|
|
356 | (1) |
|
Responding Nondefensively to Criticism |
|
|
357 | (10) |
|
|
358 | (5) |
|
|
363 | (4) |
|
|
367 | (1) |
|
|
367 | (1) |
|
|
367 | (3) |
|
Chapter Ten Managing Interpersonal Conflicts |
|
|
370 | (39) |
|
|
373 | (2) |
|
|
373 | (1) |
|
|
374 | (1) |
|
Conflict Can Be Beneficial |
|
|
375 | (1) |
|
|
375 | (9) |
|
|
376 | (1) |
|
|
377 | (2) |
|
|
379 | (2) |
|
|
381 | (1) |
|
|
381 | (2) |
|
|
383 | (1) |
|
Conflict in Relational Systems |
|
|
384 | (4) |
|
Complementary, Symmetrical, and Parallel Styles |
|
|
384 | (2) |
|
Intimate and Aggressive Styles |
|
|
386 | (1) |
|
|
387 | (1) |
|
Variables in Conflict Styles |
|
|
388 | (4) |
|
|
388 | (2) |
|
|
390 | (2) |
|
Methods of Conflict Resolution |
|
|
392 | (5) |
|
|
392 | (2) |
|
|
394 | (1) |
|
|
394 | (1) |
|
|
395 | (2) |
|
Win-Win Communication Skills |
|
|
397 | (7) |
|
Step 1 Identify Your Problem and Unmet Needs |
|
|
397 | (1) |
|
|
398 | (1) |
|
Step 3 Describe Your Problem and Needs |
|
|
398 | (1) |
|
Step 4 Consider Your Partner's Point of View |
|
|
399 | (1) |
|
Step 5 Negotiate a Solution |
|
|
400 | (1) |
|
Step 6 Follow Up the Solution |
|
|
400 | (4) |
|
Constructive Conflict: Questions and Answers |
|
|
404 | (2) |
|
Isn't the Win-Win Approach Too Good to Be True? |
|
|
404 | (1) |
|
Isn't the Win-Win Approach Too Elaborate? |
|
|
405 | (1) |
|
Isn't Win-Win Negotiating Too Rational? |
|
|
405 | (1) |
|
Is It Possible to Change Others? |
|
|
405 | (1) |
|
|
406 | (1) |
|
|
406 | (1) |
|
|
406 | (3) |
Endnotes |
|
409 | (19) |
Glossary |
|
428 | (6) |
Name Index |
|
434 | (8) |
Subject Index |
|
442 | (12) |
Photo Credits |
|
454 | (2) |
Literary Credits |
|
456 | |