| Preface |
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xiii | |
| About the Authors |
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xxiii | |
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Part ONE: Interpersonal Communication Foundations |
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1 | (122) |
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Introduction to Interpersonal Communication |
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2 | (30) |
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Defining Interpersonal Communication |
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4 | (2) |
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Interpersonal Communication Is a Distinctive Form of Communication |
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4 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication Involves Mutual Influence Between Individuals |
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5 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication Helps Individuals Manage Their Relationships |
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6 | (1) |
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The Importance of Interpersonal Communication |
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6 | (2) |
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Understanding Interpersonal Communication Can Improve Relationships with Family |
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6 | (1) |
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Understanding Interpersonal Communication Can Improve Relationships with Friends and Lovers |
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7 | (1) |
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Understanding Interpersonal Communication Can Improve Relationships with Colleagues |
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7 | (1) |
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Understanding Interpersonal Communication Can Improve Physical and Emotional Health |
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7 | (1) |
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An Evolving Model for Human and Interpersonal Communication |
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8 | (4) |
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Human Communication as Action: Message Transfer |
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8 | (2) |
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Human Communication as Interaction: Message Exchange |
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10 | (1) |
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Human Communication as Transaction: Message Creation |
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10 | (2) |
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Mediated Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others Online |
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12 | (4) |
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Applying Theory and Research: Communicating Online: Social Information-Processing Theory |
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14 | (2) |
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Principles of Interpersonal Communication |
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16 | (6) |
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Interpersonal Communication Connects Us to Others |
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16 | (1) |
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Understanding Diversity: The World Is Here |
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17 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication Is Irreversible |
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18 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication Is Complicated |
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18 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication Is Governed by Rules |
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19 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication Involves Both Content and Relationship Dimensions |
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20 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Emotion: Connecting Heart to Heart: The Role of Emotions in Our Relationships with Others |
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21 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication Myths |
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22 | (2) |
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Myth: ``More Words Will Make the Meaning Clearer'' |
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22 | (1) |
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Myth: ``Meanings Are in Words'' |
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22 | (1) |
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Myth: ``Information Equals Communication'' |
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23 | (1) |
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Myth: ``Interpersonal Relationship Problems Are Always Communication Problems'' |
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23 | (1) |
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How to Improve Your Own Interpersonal Communication Competence |
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24 | (5) |
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25 | (1) |
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25 | (1) |
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25 | (1) |
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26 | (1) |
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26 | (1) |
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26 | (2) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: Consider Others' Needs and Perspectives Without Abandoning Your Integrity |
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28 | (1) |
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29 | (1) |
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For Discussion and Review |
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30 | (1) |
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30 | (1) |
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31 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Self |
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32 | (34) |
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Self-Concept: Who Are You? |
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34 | (10) |
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Building Your Skills: Who Are You? |
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34 | (1) |
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Are You Conscious of Who You Are? |
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35 | (1) |
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Subjective Self-Awareness |
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36 | (1) |
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36 | (1) |
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37 | (1) |
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How Your Self-Concept Develops |
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38 | (2) |
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Applying Theory and Research: Symbolic Interaction Theory |
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40 | (2) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Emotion: Connecting Heart to Heart: Self and Emotion: How We Influence How We Feel |
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42 | (2) |
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Self-Esteem: Your Self-Worth |
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44 | (1) |
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How to Improve Your Self-Esteem |
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45 | (3) |
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45 | (1) |
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Visualize a Positive Image of Yourself |
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45 | (1) |
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Avoid Comparing Yourself with Others |
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46 | (1) |
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46 | (1) |
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Develop Honest Relationships |
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46 | (1) |
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47 | (1) |
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47 | (1) |
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How Self-Concept and Self-Esteem Affect Interpersonal Communication and Relationships |
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48 | (5) |
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48 | (1) |
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49 | (1) |
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Self and Interpretation of Messages |
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49 | (1) |
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Self and Interpersonal Needs |
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50 | (1) |
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Self and Communication Style |
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51 | (1) |
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Building Your Skills: Sociocommunicative Orientation |
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52 | (1) |
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Self-Disclosure: Connecting Self to Others Through Talk |
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53 | (4) |
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Understanding the Depth and Breadth of Self-Disclosure: The Social Penetration Model of Self-Disclosure |
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53 | (2) |
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Understanding Diversity: Cultural Differences in Self-Disclosure |
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55 | (1) |
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Understanding How We Learn About Ourselves from Others: The Johari Window Model of Self-Disclosure |
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55 | (2) |
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Characteristics of Self-Disclosure |
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57 | (7) |
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Self-Disclosure Usually Occurs in Small Increments |
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58 | (1) |
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Self-Disclosure Moves from Less Personal to More Personal Information |
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58 | (1) |
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Self-Disclosure Is Reciprocal |
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59 | (1) |
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Self-Disclosure Involves Risk |
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59 | (1) |
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Self-Disclosure Online Is Different from Face-to-Face Disclosure |
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59 | (1) |
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Self-Disclosure Involves Trust |
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60 | (1) |
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Self-Disclosure Over Time: Enhancing Intimacy |
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61 | (1) |
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Self-Disclosure Reflects Perceptions About the Nature of Your Relationships |
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62 | (1) |
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Self-Disclosure Guidelines |
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63 | (1) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: A World View |
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63 | (1) |
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64 | (1) |
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For Discussion and Review |
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65 | (1) |
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65 | (1) |
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65 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Perception |
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66 | (22) |
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Understanding Interpersonal Perception |
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68 | (4) |
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68 | (2) |
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70 | (2) |
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72 | (1) |
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72 | (5) |
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How We Form Impressions of Others |
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73 | (1) |
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74 | (1) |
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How We Interpret the Behavior of Others |
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75 | (1) |
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Understanding Diversity: The Power of Perspective |
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76 | (1) |
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Barriers to Accurate Interpersonal Perception |
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77 | (5) |
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78 | (1) |
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78 | (1) |
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78 | (1) |
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78 | (1) |
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79 | (1) |
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79 | (1) |
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Blaming: Assuming That Others Have Control |
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80 | (1) |
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80 | (1) |
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Applying Theory and Research: Politeness Theory |
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81 | (1) |
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Improving Your Perception Skills |
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82 | (4) |
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Link Details with the Big Picture |
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83 | (1) |
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Become Aware of Others' Perceptions of You |
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83 | (1) |
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Increase Your Conscious Awareness |
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83 | (1) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: Ten Questions That Can Help You Become Other-Oriented |
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84 | (1) |
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84 | (1) |
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84 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Emotion: Connecting Heart to Heart: How to More Accurately Perceive the Emotions of Others |
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85 | (1) |
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86 | (1) |
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For Discussion and Review |
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86 | (1) |
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86 | (1) |
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87 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Cultural Diversity: Adapting to Others |
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88 | (35) |
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Understanding Diversity: A Diversity Almanac |
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90 | (1) |
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Understanding Diversity: Describing Our Differences |
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91 | (5) |
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91 | (1) |
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92 | (1) |
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92 | (2) |
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94 | (1) |
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94 | (2) |
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Understanding Culture: Describing Our Mental Software |
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96 | (6) |
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96 | (1) |
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97 | (1) |
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97 | (2) |
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Applying Theory and Research: Uncertainty Reduction Theory |
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99 | (2) |
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101 | (1) |
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Barriers to Effective Intercultural Communication |
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102 | (6) |
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103 | (1) |
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Different Communication Codes |
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103 | (1) |
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Understanding Diversity: Ethnocentric Thinking |
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104 | (1) |
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Building Your Skills: Assessing Your Ethnocentrism |
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105 | (1) |
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Stereotyping and Prejudice |
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106 | (1) |
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106 | (1) |
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107 | (1) |
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Improving Intercultural Competence |
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108 | (12) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Emotion: Connecting Heart to Heart: Are There Universal Emotions? |
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109 | (1) |
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Developing Bridging Strategies |
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110 | (1) |
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Developing Knowledge: Strategies to Understand Others Who Differ from Us |
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110 | (2) |
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Developing Motivation: Strategies to Accept Others |
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112 | (2) |
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Understanding Diversity: Tao: A Universal Moral Code |
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114 | (1) |
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Developing Skill: Strategies to Adapt to Others |
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115 | (3) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: The Platinum Rule |
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118 | (2) |
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120 | (1) |
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For Discussion and Review |
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121 | (1) |
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121 | (1) |
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121 | (2) |
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Part TWO: Interpersonal Communication Skills |
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123 | (134) |
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Listening and Responding Skills |
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124 | (34) |
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126 | (2) |
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126 | (1) |
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127 | (1) |
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127 | (1) |
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127 | (1) |
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128 | (1) |
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128 | (2) |
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People-Oriented Listeners |
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129 | (1) |
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Action-Oriented Listeners |
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129 | (1) |
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Content-Oriented Listeners |
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129 | (1) |
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130 | (1) |
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Understanding Your Listening Style |
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130 | (1) |
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130 | (7) |
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131 | (1) |
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Understanding Diversity: Who Listens Better, Men or Women? |
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132 | (1) |
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133 | (1) |
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133 | (1) |
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Building Your Skills: Identifying Your Emotional ``Hot Buttons'' |
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134 | (1) |
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Differing Speech Rate and Thought Rate |
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134 | (1) |
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135 | (1) |
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135 | (1) |
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136 | (1) |
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136 | (1) |
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Improving Listening, Comprehension, and Responding Skills |
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137 | (5) |
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137 | (1) |
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138 | (1) |
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139 | (1) |
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140 | (1) |
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Reflect Content by Paraphrasing |
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140 | (1) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: Identifying Message Details and Major Ideas |
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141 | (1) |
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Improving Empathic Listening and Responding Skills |
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142 | (7) |
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Building Your Skills: Test Your Empathy |
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143 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Emotion: Connecting Heart to Heart: How to Express Helpful and Empathic Social Support to Others |
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144 | (1) |
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Understand Your Partner's Feelings: Imagine How You Would Feel |
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145 | (1) |
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145 | (1) |
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Building Your Skills: Sympathy versus Empathy |
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146 | (1) |
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Applying Theory and Research: Listening to Others' Stories as Co-Storyteller |
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147 | (2) |
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Responding to Confirm or Disconfirm Others |
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149 | (4) |
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Provide Confirming Responses |
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149 | (2) |
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Avoid Disconfirming Responses |
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151 | (2) |
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Improving Critical Listening Skills |
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153 | (1) |
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Identify Useful and Flawed Information |
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153 | (1) |
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Avoid Jumping to Conclusions |
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153 | (1) |
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Improving Your Responding Skills |
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154 | (2) |
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Provide Well-Timed Responses |
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154 | (1) |
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Provide Usable Information |
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155 | (1) |
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Avoid Unnecessary Details |
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155 | (1) |
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Be Descriptive Rather Than Evaluative |
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155 | (1) |
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156 | (1) |
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For Discussion and Review |
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156 | (1) |
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157 | (1) |
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157 | (1) |
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Verbal Communication Skills |
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158 | (32) |
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Understanding How Words Work |
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160 | (3) |
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160 | (1) |
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160 | (1) |
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161 | (1) |
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161 | (1) |
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Words Communicate Denotative and Connotative Meaning |
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162 | (1) |
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Words Communicate Concrete or Abstract Meaning |
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162 | (1) |
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Recognizing the Power of Words |
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163 | (3) |
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Words Have Power to Create |
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163 | (1) |
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Words Have Power to Affect Thoughts and Actions |
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164 | (1) |
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Words Have Power to Affect and Reflect Culture |
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165 | (1) |
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Words Have Power to Affect the Quality of Our Interpersonal Relationships |
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165 | (1) |
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166 | (8) |
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Bypassing: One Word, Two Thoughts |
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166 | (1) |
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Lack of Precision: Uncertain Meaning |
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167 | (2) |
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Allness: The Language of Generalization |
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169 | (1) |
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Static Evaluation: The Language of Rigidity |
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169 | (1) |
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Polarization: The Language of Extremes |
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170 | (1) |
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Biased Language: Insensitivity Toward Others |
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170 | (4) |
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Using Words to Establish Supportive Relationships |
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174 | (7) |
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Describe Your Own Feelings, Rather Than Evaluate the Behavior of Others |
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175 | (1) |
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Building Your Skills: Practice Using ``I'' Language and Extended ``I'' Language |
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176 | (1) |
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Applying Theory and Research: The Pros and Cons of Expressing Your Affection to Your Friends |
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177 | (1) |
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Solve Problems Rather Than Try to Control Others |
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178 | (1) |
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Be Genuine Rather Than Manipulative |
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178 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Emotion: Connecting Heart to Heart: Expressing Your Emotions |
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178 | (2) |
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Empathize Rather Than Remain Detached from Others |
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180 | (1) |
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Be Flexible Rather Than Rigid Toward Others |
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180 | (1) |
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Present Yourself as Equal Rather Than Superior |
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180 | (1) |
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When You've Not Been Other-Oriented: The Power of an Apology |
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181 | (2) |
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Building Your Skills: How to Assert Yourself If You Are Sexually Harassed |
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182 | (1) |
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Using Words to Be Appropriately Assertive |
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183 | (4) |
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Behaving Assertively: Five Steps |
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184 | (1) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: Bumper Sticker Slogans |
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185 | (1) |
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Building Your Skills: Assertiveness |
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186 | (1) |
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187 | (1) |
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For Discussion and Review |
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188 | (1) |
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188 | (1) |
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189 | (1) |
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Nonverbal Communication Skills |
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190 | (32) |
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Why Learn About Nonverbal Communication? |
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191 | (5) |
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Nonverbal Messages Are the Primary Way We Communicate Our Feelings and Attitudes |
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192 | (1) |
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Nonverbal Messages Are Usually More Believable Than Verbal Messages |
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192 | (1) |
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Nonverbal Messages Work with Verbal Messages to Create Meaning |
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193 | (1) |
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People Respond and Adapt to Others Through Nonverbal Messages |
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194 | (1) |
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Nonverbal Messages Play a Major Role in Interpersonal Relationships |
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194 | (1) |
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Applying Theory and Research: Are Happily Married Couples Better at Interpreting Their Partners' Nonverbal Messages? |
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195 | (1) |
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The Challenge of Interpreting Nonverbal Messages |
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196 | (3) |
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Nonverbal Messages Are Often Ambiguous |
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197 | (1) |
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Nonverbal Messages Are Continuous |
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197 | (1) |
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Nonverbal Cues Are Multichanneled |
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197 | (1) |
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Understanding Diversity: Cultural Differences in Interpreting Nonverbal Messages |
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198 | (1) |
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Nonverbal Interpretation Is Culture-Based |
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198 | (1) |
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Understanding Nonverbal Communication Codes |
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199 | (12) |
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Body Movement, Posture, and Gestures |
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199 | (3) |
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202 | (1) |
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202 | (2) |
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204 | (1) |
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205 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Emotion: Connecting Heart to Heart: How to Accurately Interpret the Nonverbal Expression of Emotions |
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206 | (2) |
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208 | (1) |
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208 | (2) |
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210 | (1) |
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Interpreting Nonverbal Communication |
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211 | (3) |
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Immediacy: Communicating Liking |
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211 | (1) |
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Understanding Diversity: Gender Differences and Nonverbal Communication |
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212 | (1) |
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Arousal: Communicating Responsiveness |
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212 | (1) |
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Dominance: Communicating Power |
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212 | (2) |
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Improving Your Ability to Interpret Nonverbal Messages |
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214 | (5) |
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Consider Nonverbal Cues in Context |
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215 | (1) |
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Look for Clusters of Nonverbal Cues |
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215 | (1) |
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Consider Past Experiences When Interpreting Nonverbal Cues |
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215 | (1) |
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Check Your Perceptions with Others |
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216 | (1) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: Checking Perceptions |
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216 | (1) |
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Be Aware That the Nonverbal Expression of Emotion Is Contagious |
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217 | (1) |
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Look for Cues That May Communicate Lying |
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218 | (1) |
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219 | (1) |
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For Discussion and Review |
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219 | (1) |
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220 | (1) |
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221 | (1) |
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Conflict Management Skills |
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222 | (35) |
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224 | (1) |
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225 | (1) |
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Myth 1: ``Conflict Is Always a Sign of a Poor Interpersonal Relationship'' |
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225 | (1) |
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Myth 2: ``Conflict Can Always Be Avoided'' |
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225 | (1) |
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Myth 3: ``Conflict Always Occurs Because of Misunderstandings'' |
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226 | (1) |
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Myth 4: ``Conflict Can Always Be Resolved'' |
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226 | (1) |
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226 | (5) |
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Pseudoconflict: Misunderstandings |
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227 | (1) |
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Simple Conflict: Different Stands on the Issues |
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227 | (1) |
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Understanding Diversity: Gender, Culture, and Conflict |
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228 | (2) |
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Ego Conflict: Conflict Gets Personal |
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230 | (1) |
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231 | (3) |
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232 | (1) |
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Beginning: Frustration Awareness |
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232 | (1) |
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232 | (1) |
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232 | (1) |
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233 | (1) |
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Conflict Management Styles |
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234 | (7) |
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235 | (1) |
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236 | (1) |
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237 | (1) |
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237 | (1) |
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238 | (2) |
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Applying Theory and Research: Cultural Differences and Preferred Conflict Management Style |
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240 | (1) |
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Conflict Management Skills |
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241 | (11) |
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241 | (2) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Emotion: Connecting Heart to Heart: Tips for Managing Anger |
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243 | (2) |
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245 | (2) |
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247 | (1) |
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247 | (1) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: Empathy: The Essential Other-Oriented Skill Set |
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248 | (1) |
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249 | (3) |
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Communicating with Prickly People |
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252 | (1) |
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252 | (1) |
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252 | (1) |
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252 | (1) |
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252 | (1) |
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253 | (1) |
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253 | (1) |
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For Discussion and Review |
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254 | (1) |
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254 | (1) |
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255 | (2) |
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Part THREE: Interpersonal Communication in Relationships |
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257 | (124) |
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Understanding Interpersonal Relationships |
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258 | (30) |
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Interpersonal Relationships Defined |
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260 | (2) |
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260 | (1) |
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260 | (1) |
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260 | (1) |
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261 | (1) |
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Genesis of Interpersonal Relationships: Attraction |
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262 | (7) |
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Understanding Diversity: Dating Customs Around the World |
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263 | (1) |
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Factors Leading to Short-Term Initial Attraction |
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264 | (1) |
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Factors Leading to Both Short-Term Initial Attraction and Long-Term Maintenance Attraction |
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265 | (2) |
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Building Your Skills: Are Your Needs Complementary? |
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267 | (2) |
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Influence in Interpersonal Relationships: Power |
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269 | (5) |
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Principles of Interpersonal Power |
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269 | (1) |
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Types of Power Relationships |
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270 | (1) |
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271 | (1) |
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Compliance Gaining: Interpersonal Persuasion |
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272 | (1) |
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Negotiating Power in Interpersonal Relationships |
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273 | (1) |
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Relationships with Friends, Lovers, and Family |
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274 | (12) |
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275 | (5) |
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Applying Theory and Research: Expectations of Same-Sex Friends |
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280 | (1) |
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Lovers: Romantic Relationships |
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281 | (1) |
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282 | (3) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: Intimacy and Power in Relationships |
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285 | (1) |
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286 | (1) |
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For Discussion and Review |
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286 | (1) |
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287 | (1) |
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287 | (1) |
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Developing Interpersonal Relationships |
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288 | (28) |
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Stages of Interpersonal Relationships |
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290 | (5) |
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292 | (1) |
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293 | (1) |
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Building Your Skills: Graphing Your Relationship Changes |
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294 | (1) |
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Theories of Interpersonal Relationship Development |
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295 | (4) |
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296 | (2) |
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298 | (1) |
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Strategies and Skills for Developing Interpersonal Relationships |
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299 | (15) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Emotion: Connecting Heart to Heart: Emotions in Relational Development, Social Exchange Theory, and Dialectical Theory |
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300 | (2) |
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Skills and Strategies Used Primarily to Initiate a Relationship |
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302 | (3) |
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Skills and Strategies Used in Both Initiating and Escalating Relationships |
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305 | (3) |
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Applying Theory and Research: Initiation Stage: Male-Initiated versus Female-Initiated Date Requests |
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308 | (1) |
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Building Your Skills: Anxiety Level and Familiarity |
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309 | (1) |
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Skills and Strategies Specific to Escalating and Maintaining Relationships |
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310 | (3) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: Adapting Relational Strategies and Skills to Your Partner |
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313 | (1) |
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314 | (1) |
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For Discussion and Review |
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315 | (1) |
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315 | (1) |
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315 | (1) |
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Managing Relationship Challenges |
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316 | (32) |
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318 | (7) |
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Violations of Relational Expectations and Failure Events |
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318 | (2) |
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Building Your Skills: Responding to Failure Events |
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320 | (1) |
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Physical Separation and Distance |
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321 | (1) |
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Relationships That Challenge Social Norms |
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322 | (2) |
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Building Your Skills: Friends with a Difference |
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324 | (1) |
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The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication and Relationships |
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325 | (10) |
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The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication: Deception |
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325 | (3) |
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Applying Theory and Research: When Lies Are Uncovered |
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328 | (1) |
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The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication: Communication That Hurts Feelings |
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329 | (1) |
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The Dark Side of Relationships: Obsessive Relational Intrusion and Stalking |
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330 | (2) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: What Constitutes Stalking? |
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332 | (1) |
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The Dark Side of Relationships: Jealousy |
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332 | (2) |
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The Dark Side of Relationships: Relational Violence |
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334 | (1) |
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De-Escalation and Termination of Relationships |
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335 | (11) |
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Signs of Relationship Problems |
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335 | (1) |
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Understanding Diversity: Gender and Ending Relationships |
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336 | (1) |
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Repair and Rejuvenation of Relationships |
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336 | (1) |
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The Decision to End a Relationship |
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337 | (1) |
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338 | (1) |
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Reasons for De-Escalating and Terminating Relationships |
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339 | (1) |
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Understanding Diversity: Empathy and Sexual Orientation |
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339 | (1) |
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A Model of Ending Relationships |
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340 | (1) |
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Strategies for Ending Relationships |
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341 | (2) |
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Strategies for Post-Dissolution Recovery |
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343 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Emotion: Connecting Heart to Heart: Assessing Your Emotional Responses to Relationship Challenges |
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344 | (2) |
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Building Your Skills: Assessing Your Past Relationships |
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346 | (1) |
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346 | (1) |
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For Discussion and Review |
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347 | (1) |
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347 | (1) |
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347 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Relationships at Home, through Computer-Mediated Communication, and at Work |
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348 | (33) |
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Interpersonal Relationships at Home |
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350 | (8) |
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350 | (1) |
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351 | (1) |
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A Model of Family Interaction |
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352 | (2) |
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Building Your Skills: Identifying Your Family System |
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354 | (1) |
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Improving Family Communication |
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354 | (4) |
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Applying Theory and Research: Family Communication Patterns |
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358 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Relationships and Computer-Mediated Communication (CMC) |
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358 | (12) |
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Comparing Face-to-Face (FtF) Communication and Computer-Mediated Communication (CMC) |
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359 | (2) |
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Challenges of Computer-Mediated Communication |
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361 | (1) |
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Types of Computer-Mediated Communication |
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362 | (1) |
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Initiating and Establishing Relationships Through CMC |
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363 | (1) |
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Face-to-Face Interpersonal Relationships and CMC |
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364 | (1) |
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The Dark Side of CMC: Cyberstalking and Harassment, Addiction and Compulsion |
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365 | (1) |
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Building Your Skills: Assessing Problematic Computer-Mediated Communication |
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366 | (1) |
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Communication Skills for CMC |
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367 | (3) |
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Interpersonal Relationships at Work |
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370 | (8) |
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370 | (1) |
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371 | (1) |
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Upward Communication: Talking with Your Boss |
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372 | (1) |
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Downward Communication: Talking with Your Subordinates |
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|
373 | (1) |
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Understanding Diversity: Male and Female Interactions in the Workplace |
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374 | (1) |
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Horizontal Communication: Talking with Your Colleagues |
|
|
374 | (2) |
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Becoming Other-Oriented: At Home, Online, and at Work |
|
|
376 | (1) |
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Outward Communication: Talking with Your Customers |
|
|
376 | (1) |
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Interpersonal Communication and Emotion: Connecting Heart to Heart: Emotions at Home, in Computer-Mediated Interactions, and in the Workplace |
|
|
377 | (1) |
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|
378 | (1) |
|
For Discussion and Review |
|
|
379 | (1) |
|
|
|
379 | (1) |
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|
380 | (1) |
| Notes |
|
381 | (27) |
| Photo Credits |
|
408 | (1) |
| Glossary |
|
409 | (8) |
| Index |
|
417 | |
